We are living through a scary, sad, and bewildering season of our nation’s history. What was once predictable now seems fragile, unstable, and too complex to grasp. The news can be unbearable to read. Conversations with friends or neighbors that start off cordial and polite can end with tension and arguments. Fear mongering often replaces opportunities to soothe and offer a sober perspective. So what do you do when everything seems bleak and everyone seems divided? 

Mr. Rogers is known for his “look for the helpers” approach. “When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news”, he said, “my mother would say to me, ‘look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping’.” 

It’s a great quote, sure, but who are the “helpers”? And what can they do for us, once we find them? Some of us might see the helpers as the family and friends we love, who validate our feelings and offer comfort, support, and---when appropriate---solutions. They might be school teachers who help keep our children safe and educated, or who protected us, challenged us and lifted us up during our own formative years. They might be religious leaders who provide spiritual support during difficult times, or neighbors who offer support and perspective when we are in need of a calm voice. Actively looking for the helpers takes us out of our own despair, and gives us a chance to join in community and focus on connection over division. 

We might also prefer to find perspective in different ways, such as looking at the world through the eyes of someone else---such as a child. Childlike wonder is entirely underrated! The way a child points at and reaches out to touch the new blossoms on a tree in springtime, or coyly waves at a stranger from over their parents’ shoulder, or giggles from their belly, models for us an opportunity to reset our nervous system. What do we see? What is exciting to us? How can we find new ways to connect? 

I often find myself trying to see the world through the eyes of my intensely sweet, innocent golden retriever, Owen. Owen wants to say hi to everybody. He wants to connect, to love, and be loved. He is goodness wrapped up in a furry, 80 pound package, and I learn from him every day just how important it is to see the good in the world.

It’s not so easy to reinvest in innocence, to side with earnest goodwill, to root for hope on purpose. It takes time and practice. But recalibrating our relationship to the world and people around us can make the world feel less scary. If you can identify afresh with your own most gentle, most courageous nature, well, maybe others can, too. Maybe they already are, somewhere across the city, eating their breakfast with a similar hope in their hearts. You are, to each other, the wished-for fellowship of unmet friends. Take heart.